Maintaining a connection is important because it gives us the opportunity to establish a new relationship with them. When I tell someone freshly grieving a loss that mourning involves developing a new relationship with the deceased – a re-integration of their loved one into their heart – they don’t have a clue what I’m getting at. Until you have actually experienced it, re-integrating is a very hard concept to grasp; however, after actively doing the grief work you slowly begin to understand. I have had a number of clients tell me that at first they had no idea what I meant by “re-integrating,” but they later learned. What they learned was how to embrace their loved one not in a physical way, but in a symbolic way so that he/she could always be present in their hearts. They re-structure their love so that it is a love that transcends the physical world and resides within them through any calamity. In many ways, we can end up feeling closer than ever before to the one(s) we have lost. Notice I use the present tense of the verb “to love.” Our love doesn’t die because the body dies. Our love continues; it is possibly changed from before, but it doesn’t have to cease to exist.